FRGMNTS / Issue #065: Prioritizing the Stack

How I make difficult choices in the midst of mental overwhelm.

Feb 06, 2024

I decided to pick “a word” this year: Prioritize.

Choosing a word for the year is not something I always do, and even when I have in the past, it doesn’t usually end up meaning much. Still, I believe meaning is ours to make, and anything we choose to give meaning to will carry it.

NOTE: Read to the end of this issue for an update on the book I'm releasing in 2024.

The stack is getting higher.
#065 / 01.31.24

A few years ago, I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the pile of tasks that had racked up in my work and personal life. There were so many things competing for my attention. I had reached a point that I felt totally paralyzed by it all. I was stuck.

I showed up to a session with my therapist that day and immediately made a plea for help. I explained the situation (which actually eased my mind a bit) and what they said next began to thaw me out from my frozen state.

“I’m seeing a stream, in my mind’s eye. There’s a stack of rocks piled in the middle of it, keeping it from flowing freely.”

I was intently listening.

“I think this stack of rocks represents everything on your plate.”

That made sense. (In fact, looking back, there really isn’t anything mind-blowing about my therapist’s insight. At the time, though, it’s exactly what I needed.)

They proceeded to explain that I should find a group of physical objects I could use in a physical prioritization exercise — pencils, rocks, whatever I could find around the house. Amazingly, I had a bag of rocks on my desk I had collected on a recent trip (there was something eerily significant about this coincidence to me — it prompted some heavy emotions).

After my therapy session, I took the rocks I had on my desk, used a sharpie and a piece of paper to label each one with a task, and slowly worked through each of them throughout the rest of the day.

What a simple practice.

When I was finished, I felt relieved, but a little silly — childish almost. I didn’t care, though. I chose to allow the simplicity of that process to give me confidence for tackling future responsibilities.

I wrote this week’s fragment about a week ago. I was preparing to write an issue of this newsletter and immediately felt the pressure of several other things I needed to do. This was an all-too-familiar feeling. “The stack is getting higher.”

In the back of my mind, one word softly pulsated: Prioritize.

I decided not to write an issue of FRGMNTS last week. Instead, I calmly shifted my focus to my other beckoning tasks and completed them. I will always do my best to keep writing — it’s what gives me the energy I need to do everything else. But sometimes, I have to do everything else in order to keep writing.

Before I let you go, a quick reflection: When have you felt overwhelmed by the competing priorities in your life? What helped you move forward? Pause and answer this for yourself. If you feel like sharing you can reply directly to me, or leave a comment. (I'll give you my answer if you ask!)

FRGMNTS / Issue #065: Prioritizing the Stack

How I make difficult choices in the midst of mental overwhelm.

The stack is getting higher.

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